look no pants
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize