His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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