I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
