Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
