I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
We named our party play list daddy issues
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
