I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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