It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
