It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
