I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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