His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
