Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
