If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
