i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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