We're facebook friends in real life
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
