Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize