he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
