I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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