How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I came so hard my ears popped.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
