I'm laying in your front yard are you home
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
