But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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