the new term for farting is butt boxing.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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