Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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