Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
