Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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