I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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