Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
