you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
