I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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