It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Randomize
