I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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