We won't sleep together?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
