I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
