One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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