We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
