i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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