So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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