I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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