Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
