how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
