Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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