I'm eating all of the evidence.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize