I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
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He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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