Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
