it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
