just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize
