We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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