i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
