I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
