They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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