Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
