I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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