you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
