i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
