we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
