me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
