I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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