he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
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