Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
