I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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