And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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