ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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